Before I had a baby, I had always thought of myself as a capable person.
I could change my car battery, program my DVR, and navigate my way around all five boroughs of New York City without getting lost or mugged. But after my daughter Nina was born, my can-do attitude went out the window. Normally confident, I couldn't imagine how I would care for a new baby and what I was supposed to do with her all day long. I dreaded seeing the door close as my husband hurried to catch the train to work every morning.
I wondered if flinging myself at his feet would stop him from leaving me alone for 10 hours with my lovely but oh-so-dependent baby. I loved Nina and we had our blissful moments together, but I was frightened by the responsibility and daunted by the drudgery of caring for her all the time, and overwhelmed by the newness of it all.
No one ever tells you what daily life will be like with a newborn. If they did, they wouldn't be able to look you in the eye because the truth isn't pretty. Imagine this: All those wonderful family members and friends who helped you out right after the birth have now returned to their own lives.
You're fatigued beyond belief. Breast milk drips all over your clothes, but you can barely remember to bathe. Basic tasks like eating or deciding what to wear seem to take too much effort. Armed with little or no previous experience, you're now responsible for the care, nourishment, safety, and stimulation of a new baby. No wonder new moms feel overwhelmed. But know this: You will not be the first mom to feel this way, and you will figure things out. While that may be cold comfort during the early days, it's a start. To help shorten the learning curve, here are some tips on how to cope in the first few weeks, from moms who've been there:
Here's the good news: Things do get better with time. The older your baby gets, the savier you'll become about caring for her. You'll regain your self-confidence and become an expert at parenting. And life, although no longer exactly the same as it was before you became a parent, will start to feel normal again. We promise.
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